Knowing is Half the Prattle.

The Quality of Business News Reporting

2009-07-27T14:29:00.001-07:00

This is what happens when you have to rush to publish news stories and you have absolutely no idea what is going on. Um... maybe get your story straight first.

Life Imitates Spinal Tap

2009-05-21T14:56:00.001-07:00

Apparently the BBC media player goes to 11.

Chocolate for Girls

2009-05-18T09:49:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I suggested that chocolate makers hate women (http://evanrapp.blogspot.com/2006/04/why-is-willy-wonka-single.html). Maybe now they're starting to realize that women may like chocolate too. Introducing "Fling"! It's like chocolate but for women. http://www.flingchocolate.com/.

The New 96th st Subway Station

2009-05-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

The gentle slope of the new 96th st subway station. Who will be the first person to climb to the top? How long will it take for the MTA to put a fence around it?

Haven't architects learned anything about NYC?

Playing with Processing

2009-05-16T08:42:00.000-07:00

Been playing with processing. I really need to play with this more. The hardest part is trying to post it on a blog. Let's see if this works.

The Holy Grail of Cheap After Shave

2009-04-07T07:07:00.000-07:00

Forget the Axxe Effect. This is the real deal. I knew my parents had this somewhere. I finally found this over the weekend. A 1968 vintage bottle of Hai Karate. You can't buy this for money. Well actually you can buy this on e-bay. I'm not sure if I can wear this though. I don't have the original box with the self defense strategies. I might get mobbed.

OK Where's My $99

2009-04-01T14:32:00.000-07:00

I got this coupon.

Here is the inside.

So what do you mean that this coupon is only for $1. Read it yourself.

It's a Meal Because We Said So

2009-03-31T12:46:00.000-07:00

They were giving these out on the street in Times Square a while ago. They are GNC "One Square Meal" bars. It's yet another attempt to disguise a candy bar as something else. This time it's supposed to be an entire meal. A square meal. Get it? Square .... Meal? Because it's square and it replaces a meal. You know, like a meal that you eat, but it's square. Did they bash that point into your head hard enough? Oh those clever marketers. Does this look like a meal to you? Oh sure if you eat this instead of a meal you'll surely lose weight, but then again if you drink a glass of water instead of eating a meal won't you lose even more weight? OK, I'll stop there your secret to weight loss is safe with me.

Square meal.... oh, you slay me.

I think I'm going to start using this word.

2009-03-30T10:14:00.001-07:00

I found this yestereen.

yestreen

You Think this is a Game?

2009-03-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's me. Maybe I just don't get it. I think that a game is something that you play and have fun with etc. What is the story with all of these online "games" where they throw up a few nice pictures make you do some paperwork, and then force you to stop playing (sometimes for hours or a day) and expect you to come back and fill out some more paperwork? Where is the fun?

I honestly don't get it. Are there people who actually play these games? The mode for most of them is some sort of scenario. You're a samurai; you're a gangster; you're a knight, whatever. You have to go through some sort of training or some such annoyance. Click this or that. Make some move and then a few clicks into it you're knocked out of the game. "Sorry it will take 5 hours to complete your training". 5 hours? 5 real, earth spinning on its axis hours? Are you out of your mind? This is a game right? I don't get it.

Oh No! They Killed Katz's .... You Bastards!

2009-03-16T07:06:00.001-07:00

OK so "they" haven't actually closed down Katz's and turned it into condos yet, but since most other places have shut down that's kind of the problem. Apparently (unknown to me at least) Katz's Deli is now on every tour bus's lunch list. Tourists all trying to get to eat a piece of the "real new york" which in reality, hasn't existed for over 50 years. I was there on Sunday and literally bus load after bus load of people poured into the place in an endless stream. Katz's never was the most organized place to begin with. Little tickets that are unfamiliar to people; get pastrami here, get knish there, get soda some place completely different. To the newbie, the place can be a little confusing. Now with the 800 or so people in there trying to figure out what is a line and which is a group of tourists taking a picture of the table where they shot "When Harry Met Sally" the place is intolerable. The pastrami is still good but I think I'm going to go there when I usually go... at 10:00 at night.

A Present Only a Geek Would Love

2009-02-17T18:40:00.001-08:00

Hey kids we didn't get you that Nintendo System. We got you something better; a calculator! Imagine the faces of kids when they got this book. I found this book in the garbage and can't decide whether this book is completely boring or fascinating. I will cut the author some slack since the book was published in 1977, so video games really weren't common yet.

Some games from the book.

"Down For Twenty" - "...force your opponent to make the final subtraction which results in 0"

"Calculator Baseball" - "... each player picks a 3 random 3 digit number and passes the calculator to their opponent. Based on the last 5 digits of the product the at-bat is determined" e.g. "all odd or all even and no repeats - home run"

"Space Race" - "Object: To be the first player whose calculator exceeds the display"

I can't decide whether to keep this book or throw it out.

New Word of the Week. (Mount Slushmore)

2009-02-09T18:08:00.000-08:00

Mount Slushmore:(noun) - The mountain range of snow on the side of the road created by snow plows.

Usage: Hold my hand. We have the light and we have summit Mount Slushmore.

Have a proposal for word of the week? Put it in the comments or send me an e-mail.

Swedish Army Here I Come

2009-02-09T17:08:00.000-08:00

Apparently I might make a good candidate for a Swedish Army officer. Bork Bork Bork!

Take the test yourself.

The Axis of Awesome 4 Chords

2009-02-01T13:03:00.001-08:00

I always like these videos that point out that a million songs have the same chords. I guess it makes me feel better if I write a song and it turns out that it uses the exact same chords as something else. Or maybe I just think they're fun.

bonus video

New Word of the Week. (Crustation)

2009-02-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

Crustation: (noun) - The table with bread and rolls at an you can eat seafood place.

Usage: You need any more butter? I'm going to hit the crustation.

Have a proposal for word of the week? Put it in the comments or send me an e-mail.

New Word of the Week. Wii-hab

2009-01-25T10:02:00.000-08:00

Wii-hab: (noun) - The place where you send your Nintendo Wii to get it fixed.

Usage: Some Wii-tard knocked my Wii off the shelf. I have to send it to Wii-hab.

-Thanks Karianne

Have a proposal for word of the week? Put it in the comments or send me an e-mail.

New Word of the Week (Chancefer)

2009-01-22T20:03:00.001-08:00

Starting another "of the week" that I know I can't possibly keep up; "New Word of the Week". Everyone makes up words and this is a new weekly word that I'd like to introduce into the English language. This week ...

Chancefer:(noun) That few seconds that you may or may not get between when your train pulls into the station and when the train across the platform pulls out of the station.

Usage: "Quick, get up, we have a chancefer!"

Have a proposal for word of the week? Put it in the comments or send me an e-mail.

Camo Frog

2009-01-16T20:47:00.001-08:00

I haven't been drawing anything for a while. I need to do it more often. Just drew this.

To Wii or Not to Wii

2009-01-16T17:34:00.000-08:00

I have mixed feelings about the Nintendo Wii. On the one hand it's pretty fun and gets me off the couch but the Wii is really unlike any game that I've played. In most games, you have a high score board. Nothing more satisfying then playing a game for a while just to get the chance to put your name up on the high score board. I've been on the Zwok leader board for years. Any time you fail to hit the high score, there's no foul. Just go and try it again. But not with the Wii. With the Wii games it keeps your score. It keeps all your scores. When you do well, you rise up the ranks against yourself. But when you don't do well, it is all over you for that too. Those bad games of baseball where you were having an off day and you got your clock cleaned are all there. It even sends you little messages of how you did that day. This brings up the Wii dilemma. When you are doing really well, there's that temptation to just stop playing. Should I quit now while I'm ahead and sit on the couch basking in my high scores. Should I regale friends with stories of that silver medal I won in tennis just two days ago or should I risk losing my Wii bowling pro status. It's all there, recorded. You can wade through your Mii messages about how you were once a superstar but now you're a failure. Do you keep playing till you crest that bell curve of achievement? Do you go out on top or keep playing till you're relegated to Wii obscurity? It's a dilemma that gives me pause every time I pick up the Wii. Then there's the insult of it telling you that you suck. How do you feel when you do the fitness test and it rates you a 46 year old? You do what I did, train and do it again till you rate a 31 year old. I guess maybe just for me this is all a big deal. Really now, life is like the Wii. You can't get rid of anything in your life. Facebook friends show up who know your past. That picture of you drunk at a college party gets posted to the internet. Everything your write gets recorded somewhere. Now even the president has to admit that he did drugs in college rather than get away with claiming to not inhale. I don't think the current president can get away with mincing words about the definition of "sexual relations". Now it seems that whatever you do, you just have to own it. So I am going to own my Wii failures instead of brushing them under the rug and blotting them out of history. The photo is of my best Wii bowling game, but since, I bowled a bunch of really lousy games and lost my "pro" status. Want to make something out of it?

A Loft Filled with Dirt, the Man Who's Cared for it for 19 Years

2009-01-07T12:34:00.001-08:00

OK, I need to go see this.

New Song Advice

2008-12-20T09:45:00.001-08:00

I play acoustic guitar for the 6 month olds and it really seems to quiet them down or they start to make happy sounds. Here are the top 5 songs that they respond well to.

Punk Rock Girl - Dead Milkmen

Science Fiction Double Feature - Richard O'Brian

Vibrator Dependent - Mojo Nixon

Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead

The Grand Old Duke of York - folk song

Alot of other songs they listen to but don't really react to, but funny enough they usually get upset when I play "Got You (where I want you)" by the Flys. But that's pretty obvious why because it's only two chords and it bugs me too.

Any suggestions for new songs?

Yes I already tried Freebird. Luke warm reception. The songs should be playable on acoustic guitar, so Chemical Warfare by the Dead Kennedys is out.

Subliminal Messaging

2008-12-20T07:20:00.000-08:00

You Wanted Me to Type How Fast?

2008-12-05T09:04:00.000-08:00

When I was first out of college I applied for entry level jobs and they always said something like "must type 50 wpm +" or "must type 60 wpm +". Of course I could never type that fast at the time and would wonder if the 4 years I spent on college would have been better spent just practicing typing. College doesn't prepare you for an entry level job, it prepares you to be the boss. Anyway, at the time everyone in the world didn't have a computer so the number of people who could type was much less. You'd think that the average typing speed was very low and the standard for your average Joe would also be less. OK, now fast forward a few years to today when everyone and their grandmother has a computer. You can reasonably expect that people on average are faster at typing. So now I play the game "typeracer". I still don't think I'm a fast typer, but according to the game, I type around 54 words per minute. On their scale, I'm somewhere between a "pro" typer and a "megaracer". Megaracer! So all that time when I was applying for those entry level jobs I was expected to be not just a decent typist but an incredible, off-the-scale typist? I'm not sure if I should be happy that I can type that fast now or livid that such an unreasonable expectation was put on me (and scores of other recent graduates) at the time. I can tell you that I was livid at the time since a 4 year education to which I gained (what I thought was) excellent experience amounted to nothing.

By the way, if I didn't go to college, I was offered both a full time radio DJ job (at WRKL) and a job working for the high school in the TV studio. After college .... "How fast can you type"?

Awesome! Time Machine Operator.

2008-12-05T07:53:00.000-08:00

Opportunity to operate a full time machine!

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brx/lab/944873702.html

oh... maybe not

That's Not Boots, It's Just a Monkey

2008-11-29T18:30:00.000-08:00

For all of you who were at Elana's birthday party, she would like you to know that the cake was not Boots the Monkey but rather "just a monkey".

Yes I realize that Elana wanted me to make her a Dora the Explorer cake in addition to a monkey cake. (I'm sure soon to be featured on cakewrecks.blogspot.com).

Elana was not sure why people were calling it a "Boots the Monkey" cake when it was clearly "just a monkey". For those of you who do not know, this "just a monkey" cake was actually the 4th in a series of "just a monkey" cakes.

Sorry for any confusion that this may have caused.

OK, Now You've Gone To Far

2008-11-28T16:49:00.000-08:00

I was OK with pieces of candy bars in my ice cream. I'm a big fan of the Ben and Jerry's Heath Bar Crunch. But when you start sticking candy bar pieces from one candy bar into another candy bar then you've crossed the line.

Grand Theft Auto IV - Naked Gun Edition

2008-11-19T13:56:00.001-08:00

I know I've been posting a lot of videos recently but I found this one to be pretty funny. From the files of Police Squad, Grand Theft Auto.

Does Anyone Understand This?

2008-11-13T11:33:00.001-08:00

Maybe I'm fuzzy on the concept of a treadmill.

For All Those People Who Keep Telling Me that the iphone is Just a Phone.

2008-11-10T14:52:00.000-08:00

They need to watch this.

He Was Profound From and Early Age

2008-11-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

At Elana's school they asked the 4 year olds what kind of animal they would like to be and why. On of the kids answered...

"A giraffe, because they speak to me."

... heavy

The Witch Casts Her Spell and the Princess is Caught

2008-11-02T06:11:00.000-08:00

From this year's Halloween party.

The Harvest Bounty

2008-11-02T05:52:00.000-08:00

It's fall and time to bring in the bounty of the harvest. Yeah that was worth all the work.

Con Ed Likes "Happy Days".

2008-10-01T10:45:00.001-07:00

Yeah, we're talking to you Potzie!

Reinvention of the Clock

2008-09-25T18:14:00.000-07:00

This browser does not have a Java Plug-in.

Get the latest Java Plug-in here.

I haven't posted for a while since I was dealing with kids and feedings in the middle of the night, but I did get the chance to play around with programing. I have been wanting to play with the processing language for a while and decided to finally do it. This applet is a little modern clock that took me about an hour to do. I need to play with this more.

Some People Think About Typography Way To Much

2008-08-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Like architects for instance.

Have You Driven Windows Lately?

2008-08-28T11:10:00.000-07:00

I like it when companies admit that their reputation sucks. Along the lines of the old "Have You Driven a Ford Lately" commercials, Microsoft has their own version. Basically the Ford commercials boiled down to. Hey we made crappy cars for a while but try us again we're better now. Now Microsoft is doing the same thing with Microsoft Mojave. Basically they set up a controlled experiment where they introduce people to the new Microsoft Mojave operating system. It's not new, it's just Windows Vista in a new package. Then they asked people how they liked the new operating system and reported that everyone loved it. How bad does you reputation have to be, before you run and experiment like this? Oh yeah we know the reputation for our product sucks so we'll prove that it's just a bad reputation and it doesn't really suck. Um... didn't that reputation come from somewhere?

A Great Book From Amazon

2008-08-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

"A Million Random Digits with 1000,000 Normal Deviates" from the Rand Corporation is one of those books that is just thrilling. You never know where it's going to go next. Maybe a 3, maybe a 7? I'm not going to spoil the ending for you.

Attention Babies.... Are You Ready To Suck?

2008-08-14T19:29:00.001-07:00

Mic stand from the dumpster. $0
Found Velcro straps. $0
Easily bottle feeding twins? Priceless.

How to Win the Big Teddy Bears in the Claw Game

2008-08-07T19:42:00.000-07:00

http://view.break.com/536276 - Watch more free videos

Mikayla and Aden

2008-08-02T19:01:00.001-07:00

After a request for fresh pictures. The new kids.

Slow News Day

2008-08-01T10:43:00.001-07:00

Lo que es más Macho?

2008-07-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

The Wenger Giant Swiss Army Knife. A steal at $1,400.

Oh Yeah! Oh No!!

2008-07-20T19:09:00.000-07:00

OK, this actually made me laugh out loud.

Drunk History vol. 2.5 - Featuring Jack Black

2008-07-20T09:50:00.001-07:00

This is the way we should have learned history in high school. More at http://youtube.com/user/DrunkHistory

Here is a picture of the birthplace of Benjamin Franklin as it is today.

The "Sir Speedy" store is apparently named after one of Benjamin Franklin's nicknames.

A Night at the Opera

2008-07-18T18:33:00.001-07:00

Made this on the website "Type is Art" www.typeisart.com. On this site you take a given set of typographical segments and rearrange them to make a picture. This is mine "A Night at the Opera" The site suffers from a limited interface and the site really appears to be a secret advertisement for some woman's print which honestly isn't the best picture in the gallery but it's fun.

Wow, This Would Have Been a Great Idea 20 Years Ago.

2008-07-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

The Zpen!

Yeah! A pen that can take what you write on paper and upload it to a computer screen. Just in time for a generation of student note takers who text message and IM like crazy and when penmanship is being cut from elementary school curriculums.

In the interests of full disclosure I do have a Wacom art pad but I've never actually used it for text capturing and don't imagine when I ever would want to. Maybe some artists who don't already have a drawing pad may want one but when that first drawing app for the iphone comes out, this invention is dead in the water.

wait for it ....

http://www.sketchesapp.com/

there.

Oh yeah and if that's not good enough for you, use the scanner that probably already comes with the printer you got with your computer. To "upload" your drawings.

I Want to Meet this Guy on a Rainy Day

2008-07-15T13:14:00.000-07:00

I Think I've Just Found the Most Obscure Online Quiz Ever

2008-07-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

What Kind of Zouave Are You?

If you don't know what a Zouave is click here. Oh, and the quiz is specifically referring to American Civil War Zouaves exclusively. Go 11th New York!

When is Vanilla Not Vanilla?

2008-07-14T07:45:00.000-07:00

When you buy Stonyfield Farm yogurt. I got a "vanilla truffle" flavored yogurt today and guess what flavor it is? Chocolate! The only way you would have known that this is chocolate is to have read the ingredients. Does truffle automatically imply chocolate? Yeah maybe technically it does but it would be nice instead of throwing some fancy marketing name on it they could have just called it chocolate yogurt. I had expected this to be just some variation of vanilla that doesn't make a difference anyway. Can anyone really tell the difference between "French Vanilla" and "Vanilla" anyway? I guess everything sounds fancier when it's French. If it's vanilla, just call it vanilla thanks. Save you're fancy adjectives. I can gaurentee that this is the chain of logic that caused this to be named "vanilla truffle" went something like this.

Marketing Guy #1: All women eat is yogurt. We've marketed them into believing that all this sugar and fat is a health food.
Marketing Guy #2: Yeah but the only other thing that women eat is chocolate, brownies and cookies.
Marketing Guy #1: Well we have to move all this vanilla yogurt.
Marketing Guy #2: Hey maybe we can get women to eat even more yogurt if we make believe that this is both a health food and a decadent treat. Let's throw some cocoa into it.
Marketing Guy #1: That will confuse them enough. Brilliant.
Marketing Guy #2: "Chocolate Decadence"?
Marketing Guy #1: To obvious.
Marketing Guy #2: Oh hey the boss just called and he likes to call it vanilla because it has a vanilla base instead of a plain yogurt base.
Marketing Guy #1: How about "Vanilla Truffle". It's got that candy spin to it.
Marketing Guy #2: Perfect.

My Code Added to an OpenSource Project

2008-07-09T03:48:00.000-07:00

So I while ago I wrote some extensive php code to change the open source project Geeklog from its own authentication method to instead use LDAP for authentcation. The code I wrote was pretty extensive but someone took that code and whittled it down to the very basics and added it as a standard feature of the software. At least they gave me some credit. Honestly if I was looking at Geeklog fresh and trying to implement LDAP, I'd be pretty confused because the code really doesn't look much like anything. Also there are a few things that aren't really explained here. The LDAP attributes being used here are UNIX LDAP shell account attributes. If you're looking at using this with a microsoft implementation of LDAP or with Netscape's implementation of LDAP for iplanet, the you're missing a bunch of other attributes. All this is in the original implementation of the code and really isn't explained in the Geekog documentation. Also the setup of your LDAP tree isn't really covered in the documentation either which is pretty crucial.

1 <?php
2 
3 /* Reminder: always indent with 4 spaces (no tabs). */
4 // +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
5 // | Geeklog 1.5                                                               |
6 // +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
7 // | config.php                                                                |
8 // |                                                                           |
9 // | LDAP configuration file.                                                  |
10 // +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
11 // | Copyright (C) 2008 by the following authors:                              |
12 // |                                                                           |
13 // | Authors: Jessica Blank     - jessica.blank AT mtvnmix DOT com             |
14 // |                              under contract to MTV Networks               |
15 // |          Evan Rappaport    - evan.rappaport AT mtvi DOT com               |
16 // +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
17 // |                                                                           |
18 // | This program is free software; you can redistribute it and/or             |
19 // | modify it under the terms of the GNU General Public License               |
20 // | as published by the Free Software Foundation; either version 2            |
21 // | of the License, or (at your option) any later version.                    |
22 // |                                                                           |
23 // | This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,           |
24 // | but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of            |
25 // | MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.  See the             |
26 // | GNU General Public License for more details.                              |
27 // |                                                                           |
28 // | You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License         |
29 // | along with this program; if not, write to the Free Software Foundation,   |
30 // | Inc., 59 Temple Place - Suite 330, Boston, MA  02111-1307, USA.           |
31 // |                                                                           |
32 // +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
33 //
34 // $Id: config.php,v 1.1 2008/05/01 19:27:48 dhaun Exp $
35 
36 global $_LDAP_CONF;
37 
38 $_LDAP_CONF['version']            = '1.0.0'; // Module Version
39 
40 
41 // LDAP Settings
42 
43 // Basic LDAP variables
44 $_LDAP_CONF['user_ou'] = "People";
45 $_LDAP_CONF['group_ou'] = "Group";
46 $_LDAP_CONF['branch'] = "dc=mydc,dc=com";
47 $_LDAP_CONF['user_branch'] = "ou={$_LDAP_CONF['user_ou']}," . $_LDAP_CONF['branch'];
48 $_LDAP_CONF['user_attributes'] = array("uid","cn","ou","objectClass","shadowLastChange","loginShell","uidnumber","gidNumber","homeDirectory","gecos","userPassword","givenName","sn","mail");
49 
50 // LDAP server configuration
51 $_LDAP_CONF['servers'][0]['bind_dn'] = "cn=mycn,ou=LDAPusers,dc=mydc,dc=com";
52 $_LDAP_CONF['servers'][0]['password'] = "mypassword";
53 $_LDAP_CONF['servers'][0]['host'] = "localhost";
54 
55 // (put additional servers here; example given below)
56 // $_LDAP_CONF['servers'][1]['bind_dn'] = 'cn=foo,ou=people,dc=corp,dc=com';
57 // $_LDAP_CONF['servers'][1]['password'] = 'joshua';
58 // $_LDAP_CONF['servers'][1]['host'] = 'ldap.example.com';
59 
60 // LDAP server selection
61 
62 /**
63  * If you wanted to set up some complex logic to determine which
64  * LDAP server is in use, this is where it would go.
65  * We have provided the basic infrastructure for multiple LDAP servers;
66  * the rest is left as an exercise for the user.
67  */
68 $_LDAP_CONF['server_num'] = 0;
69 
70 
71 // Default user settings
72 $_LDAP_CONF['user_defaults']['ou'] = $_LDAP_CONF['user_ou'];
73 $_LDAP_CONF['user_defaults']['objectClass'] = array("account","posixAccount","top","shadowAccount","person","organizationalPerson","inetOrgPerson");
74 $_LDAP_CONF['user_defaults']['shadowLastChange'] = "0";
75 $_LDAP_CONF['user_defaults']['loginShell'] = "/etc/ftponly";
76 
77 ?>

GM Still Doesn't Want You to Drive

2008-07-07T09:19:00.000-07:00

I was just reading an article on businessweek.com (the top story) which talks about the coming of a new era of driverless cars on the horizon. GM is announcing that driverless cars will be on the road in the next 20 years! Hmmm... where have I heard GM announcing that driverless cars will be on the road in 20 years before? Oh yeah, the Futurama exhibit at the 1939 World's Fair. Who thinks that 70 years from now there is going to be another announcement of driverless cars on the road in 20 years? Who thinks that GM is even going to be in business in the next 20 years? Not holding my breath.

Futurama Part I

Futurama Part II

Naming a Series of Drinks.

2008-07-05T05:11:00.000-07:00

There are tons of names of mixed drinks but no one seems to name a series of drinks that you drink one right after the other. Here are two suggestions.

A Menage Artois = Three Stella Artois in a row.

The Pep Boys =
1 glass of Manishevitz
1 Mojito
1 shot of Jack Daniels.

Welcome Back to Runescape

2008-07-03T14:07:00.001-07:00

I've logged in to the mmorpg game RuneScape for the first time today in over 3 years and surprisingly my account still works. The game is still exactly as I remember it... tedious drudgery. See you in another 3 1/2 years.

What Kind of Crack are You On?

2008-07-02T12:37:00.000-07:00

So, I was reading a few articles online today and all of them made me believe that the authors need to pay closer attention to reality. Here they are.

#1 Ten Perfectly Pure Gadgets
The exective summary: Here is a list of 10 gadgets that are perfectly pure. They have not and can not be improved upon.
Why I think the author is on crack: Your examples are the pop up toaster, the radio and the etch-a-sketch (among others). Yeah sure there hasn't been much advancement in pop up toasters since their invention. Instead of saying that it is a perfectly pure design, maybe you should consider that it was a stupid idea to begin with. They didn't improve on the design of the pop up toaster, they ditched the idea completely for the idea of the toaster oven. Ever stick a bagel in a pop up toaster? A number of the other examples are similarly inspired by a delusion.

#2 Apple could create headaches for Garmin and TomTom
The executive summary: GPS manufacturers don't have anything to fear from Apple's new iphone which comes with a built in GPS receiver.
Why I think the author is on crack: Your theory is that people won't use iphones for GPS navigation because...

1) "Unless there is a decent vehicle mount kit available, it's hard to believe so." Um you think no one is going to develop a bracket with a suction cup for the iphone? Do a google search for "car mount for iphone".

2) "Can you take and make calls while the GPS continues working in the background, giving you all those voice directions?" You don't think they thought of that?

#3 replate.org. OK this is not so much an article but an activist group.
The executive summary: They want you to leave your 1/2 eaten food on top of garbage cans so that the homeless can take the food and eat it.
Why I think they are on crack: So here are two scenarios. Which do you think is more likely?

1) Actual homeless guy (not a con artist, drug user, "vietnam vet", etc who claims to be homeless) comes along and sees 1/2 eaten meal of questionable age and decides to have lunch.

2) food gets knocked over, by wind, rain, etc splashes food all over the place, blows garbage into the streets and food attracts pigeons, mice, rats, bugs (add your own favorite animals here).

NUTEX or Ex Nuts?

2008-06-26T14:49:00.000-07:00

It's interesting that whenever someone discovers something, there is always someone who is ready with the next quack medicine that claims the medicinal properties of that thing. Case in pont ... Nutex brand condoms. Coated with radium. For her pleasure?

"Get next to Nutex" Ask for them by name. Keep a dosimeter handy.

More fun radioactive products of yesteryear at the Oak Ridge Universities Historical Instrumentation Collection Museum.

DIY Laser Show

2008-06-25T15:05:00.000-07:00

Years ago when I was in high school a friend (Dave) and I put together a laser show as part of a battle of the bands. Actually, it was mostly Dave because he owned the computer which controlled it. Here's someone who is doing basically the same thing but these days, you don't have to hit up your physics teacher to borrow a laser. Still a cool idea. The way we did it was cooler (of course) because instead of just mounting the mirrors on a speaker to synch with the music, we had a computer where you would hit buttons and trigger your own sounds. Those sounds were preset so that you would repeat the best patterns. Since the concert was so loud and the laser speaker was up in the lighting booth you couldn't hear the computer sounds from the audience. I think.

The Fly, The Opera

2008-06-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

The Fly, The Opera ...... The horror... Oh, the horror.

http://www.theflytheopera.com/

Alternative Energy Vehicles

2008-06-24T14:44:00.000-07:00

Are you as sick of news stories about [fill in the next upstart company] and their new [pick your favorite fad fuel that isn't gas] car that is going to change the world? I'm sick of those stories. When you find a company that actually starts producing real cars rather than concept cars and maybe even actually producing and selling more than 10 prototypes, give me a call. Otherwise, I've had enough of your pointless news stories.

New for 2008

2008-06-23T17:16:00.001-07:00

Aden (left) and Mikayla (right).

I Need to Get the Sheet Music for This.

2008-06-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

Yes if you've ever wanted to play John Cage's orchestral masterpiece 4'33" (4 minutes 33 seconds), now you can buy the sheet music for it online. It's a steal at only $5.95 plus shipping. Click here to order. With comments like .. "Most versatile work in my repetoire" it's a must for any beginning musician.

If you've never heard this master work, then here is a video of the BBC Symphony Orchestra playing it

This is the Definition of Performance Art.

2008-06-20T07:15:00.000-07:00

There are two required elements for something to be performance art.

1) Nudity
2) Nonsense

This video is the very definition of performance art.

DNA tested McCaws?

2008-06-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

Someone is giving away hyacinth macaws on craigslist. In the ad they state ...

"these are lovely birds they are well tamed and they also DNA tested interested person get to me via ..."

DNA tested? Yeah lady, it looks like a hyacinth macaw but can you prove it? I'm not taking this bird off your hands without proof.

Hey this parrot is nailed to the perch.

What do you mean pining?

You want to ask me about your office?

2008-06-16T17:30:00.000-07:00

I got this e-mail today.

"Schlesinger Associates, a national Marketing Research Firm, is currently organizing a study among men and women in the area regarding health conditions at our mid-town Manhattan offices."

I have no idea what goes on in your mid-town Manhattan offices.

You Can't Resist this Job Applicant. It's Futile.

2008-06-16T12:49:00.000-07:00

So I think I'm interviewing a Borg next week. On the resume', the first skills listed are "Excellent technology absorption capability" and "Ability to work effectively in a team environment". You don't hire him, he just assimilates your company.

The End of Suzi's Television

2008-06-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

At one time, that was a good TV.

The Bed to Die For.

2008-06-02T08:33:00.000-07:00

I've always thought that the Sleepy's Mattress trademark "For the Rest of Your Life" was a little odd. You could interpret this as ...

1) You'll keep coming back to Sleepy's because we're so good.
2) You'll get a great night's rest from this bed.

Or you could also interpret it as "This is your death bed". Apparently this association was also lost on the Hannah mattress company because they also tried to register the trademark.

Quest for Lunch

2008-05-24T22:04:00.001-07:00

So I'm watching the movie "Quest for Fire" on hulu.com and it's the scene where the canibal neanderthals are having a nice hearty meal of human flesh. Occasionally on hulu, they run little ad bugs along the bottom of the sceen. Is this what Chili's had in mind?

I know my skin diseases

2008-05-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

Skin Disease or Dungeons and Dragons Character?

Score: 88% (14 out of 16)

New Band Names

2008-05-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

A while ago I posted a blog entry about how you can get a great 80's band name from randomly clicking the captcha on the ticketmaster.com site. They have since updated the captcha and the band names are better now. After about 15 min of clicking, here are the top 30 generated names I got from that site.

Bizarre Con
Superbaby German
The Tripped
Awed Torment
65 Exceptions
January Red
The Stowe
Taylor London
Office Craig
2:18 Squads
The Blanco
Cloned Barbara
As Argued
Mr Demolition
Harry Democratic
Lenox University
The Expenses
Soundness House
The Vacancies
Yancy Exclaimed
Dr. Meaningful
Haves Had
Representative Large
Jr. Champagne
Kentucky Adultery
Superintendent Yacht
Timely Cambodian
On Fluffy
Ill Disclosure
In Steel

Apparently Criminals Don't have Fax Machines

2008-02-20T11:55:00.000-08:00

Transcript of a conversation I had with the bank over a credit card bill.

Bank: Your payments have been posted to another account, you need to call XXXXX to get this straightened out.
Me: OK, what is the account number so that I can explain this to this person specifically.
Bank: We can't tell you that over the phone.
Me: OK, can you send it to me in an e-mail?
Bank: No we don't have statements in electronic form. We can fax it to you.
Me: Um... OK
Bank: What is your fax number?
Me: XXX-XXX-XXXX
Bank: OK we'll fax it to you in 24-48 hours.

So, you can't verbally tell me the account number over the phone but you can fax it to me (over the phone lines) to a number that I just gave you? So, aren't you really just telling it to me over the phone in a different format? I guess criminals don't have fax machines. Stupid criminals.

Happy Bar Mitzvah Seth

2008-02-18T21:35:00.000-08:00

I rarely post youtube videos here but this is another great example why youtube.com is a national treasure. Feel free to stop the video at anytime.

Bath Time

2008-01-19T16:57:00.001-08:00

I think there is a kid in there too.

Can I pass 8th grade science?

2008-01-03T19:56:00.000-08:00

Apparently I can, and I can get pretty much the same grade I would have gotten in 8th grade without studying. Which I didn't.

Binary Clock

2007-12-24T12:15:00.001-08:00

Today I made my first "useful" object with an Arduino board. It's a binary clock. OK, you can't read binary clocks and it only can count up to 4 minutes and 15 seconds. You can't even time John Cage's song 4'33" with it but it's one small step towards understanding electronics. The real point of all of this was to figure out how to use an 8 bit shift register. Mission completion.

The Lameness of Free Treo Software

2007-12-18T15:51:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to download some free software for the Treo to see if the thing can be used for anything other than e-mail and a phone. All the free software out there is crap. At least I got Dope Wars and Space Trader but I really haven't even found anything that is even close to interesting. I downloaded some drawing program and crashed the Treo (of course). I downloaded this one program called "M Drink's". This is supposed to be like a Mr. Boston type guide to making drinks. The interface stinks at best and really doesn't actually work. The drinks are even bad.

Some examples...

A Baby Eskimo.... Kahlua and ice cream. Big Deal.

Atlantic Dolphin Shit : "Dump the shit in a glass with ice cubes and swill it down!" Elegant.

Such crap. It even comes with a lame warning page about drinking and driving.

I don't think you can add your own entries so you're stuck with their crap. Here are two entries that I would add..

The Absolut Zero
1 Part Absolut Vodka
3 Parts Coke Zero

The Friggid Virgin
1 Part Absolut Vodka
3 Parts Coke Zero Cherry
1 Cherry garnish.

ill fitting hat bear pancake

2007-12-15T08:09:00.001-08:00

Combining the "pancake art" and "bears in ill fitting hats" flickr.com groups.

God, that Tastes Good.

2007-12-09T14:54:00.000-08:00

While sitting and having a Dosa at the Hampton Chutney Company on the upper west side, I see a prominently displayed sign on a shelf.

"The cooks prepare and cook the food with a pure heart, remaining silent and chanting the name of God. While the food is served, everyone chants God's name."

When I got my Dosa, I didn't hear any chanting of God's name. I think I got short changed some essential karmic ingredients. In my next life, I'll come back as a roach and get even.

Theodore Will See You in the Drawing Room

2007-12-07T18:43:00.001-08:00

I haven't done any drawings for a while but got inspired by the "bears in ill-fitting hats group" on flickr.com.

The Now Sound

2007-12-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

Normally I really don't post links to other sites, but this was pretty interesting and I wanted to remember it for myself. Do you know that sound of the 60's that was everywhere except in popular music? That was apparently called the "Now" sound. This is a link to some of it from an interesting site that does a weekly post of music they find on old 45's.

http://www.officenaps.com/2007/01/now-sound.html

This is reason for the internet. No one would have ever heard of this music if those who control copyrights had total control. Don't believe me? Try to find this music on CD.

Overheard in NY

2007-11-21T18:48:00.000-08:00

I had my own decent Overheard in NY moment in the subway today.

late 20's girl: So New York is an island?
late 20's guy : Yeah.
late 20's girl: So it has like a water thing around it?

-- on the 1 train

On the Air

2007-11-15T04:22:00.001-08:00

I am on the air! OK, so I'm not starting a podcast, I just finished making the light. I had the "on air" plastic shell for a long time and I finally got around to wiring it up and putting a back on it. Maybe I'll put it over the bathroom and start saying "I'm going to broadcast the news" every time I go to the toilet.

Crap 24/7

2007-11-06T17:38:00.001-08:00

Just got this job listing e-mailled to me.... At least they are honest that the shit on this job happens 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Fascinating Fact

2007-10-23T20:37:00.000-07:00

The word for "trip to the moon" in German is Mondfahrt, which sounds alot like "mind fart".

Pictures From the Archive

2007-10-23T16:57:00.001-07:00

Just found this picture of me when I was about 6 years old. You never know what photos of you are floating around the internet. This is a summer camp up in Bear Mountain State Park. Not a camper there, I was just visiting for the day. I really can't tell you what we were doing but this is the dining room, so we're probably there for the free eats.

Update: Some IM commentary from a friend and his friend.

Cxxxxxx: it really looks like a 70's cop tv show
Cxxxxxx: badass black dude (in the back of course)
Soooooo: I thought a 70s rock band album pic
Cxxxxxx: hippy guy just in front
Cxxxxxx: then the striaght-laced cop
Soooooo: heh
Soooooo: That's funny too
Cxxxxxx: then the main character who is a loose cannon with his headband and dark sunglasses
Cxxxxxx: all protecting "The Kid"
Cxxxxxx: "The Kid" obviously has Attitude.
Soooooo: But meanwhile The Kids kicks all the bad guys' asses himself
Soooooo: Kid rather
Cxxxxxx: definitely and when he finishes the other guys will say their signature lines
Cxxxxxx: the hippy of course says "Far Out Kid"
Cxxxxxx: the Token says "Groovy"
Soooooo: BWAHAHAHAHAHA
Soooooo: Or "You deserve some sweeeeeeeeet black sugah, kid"
Cxxxxxx: oh perfect
Cxxxxxx: "We gotta get you a Fly Woman after that!"
Cxxxxxx: the Loose Cannon says "That's just what I would have done"
Cxxxxxx: and the Straight-Laced Square says "Good Job Kid"
Soooooo: This is so excellent
Soooooo: We need lookalikes for a real show now
Soooooo: That '70s Cop Show

On the Couch

2007-09-27T19:51:00.001-07:00

Does life get any better than this?

Go Bisc Yourself!

2007-09-27T19:43:00.001-07:00

Passenger: What kind of cookies do you have on this flight?
Stewardess: Biscoff!
Passenger: Hey why don't you piss off!
Stewardess: Um... Sir.
Passenger: Yeah I'm talking to you!

Time for Slide Jousting!

2007-09-27T19:16:00.001-07:00

This is a great airline. If the plane is delayed for a long time, they open up the slide, give you a jousting lance and let you slide down as you try to get people while they run away from you. We weren't delayed that long so I didn't get a chance to joust.

Creepy Clown

2007-09-18T04:00:00.001-07:00

Is it any wonder why kids are afraid of clowns? Can't they make them a little less creepy? Maybe some teeth would help

This Fan Sucks.

2007-09-14T20:44:00.001-07:00

There was something wrong with this fan so I opened it up to check the wiring. I think I found what was wrong. That explains it.

Balcony Fishing

2007-09-14T11:01:00.001-07:00

So in case you are ever cleaning a table cloth in the middle of the night and it slips off your balcony and lands on a terrace 30 feet below to which you have no access, here's a tip. Get a lot of string, a coat hanger, a thumb tack and some tape. Make the above contraption with the thumb tack taped to the hook of the coat hanger. Hang your contraption from another long piece of string and fish your table cloth from the terrace below. Tested and effective, but your results may vary. Make sure no one sees you so they don't call the Department of Homeland Security.

Diet Menthol Drips

2007-09-13T05:16:00.001-07:00

OK, I know that the dictionary definition of drip and drop is basically the same thing but eating something called Drips is a whole lot more disgusting than eating something called Drops. I also kind of question the sanity of making something pineapple, peach, cherry, lime and menthol flavor all at the same time. At least it's diet and sugar free.

Do the Times Square Shuffle!

2007-09-09T19:36:00.001-07:00

Sometimes when you get mad it helps to do a little dance to vent your anger. When the 7th avenue crossover is closed, the NYC Department of Transportation recommends doing the Times Square Shuffle.

Da Da .... Da Da ... Doin' the Time Square Shuffle.....

Phallic Fountains

2007-09-01T19:07:00.001-07:00

I call this one "Old Stubby".

I call these "The Rear Guard". Guess who's the Captain.

Who says that the kids are the only ones allowed to have fun in the water park?

23st and West End Ave (Chelsea of course)

The Latest BS Way of Evaluating Your Blog

2007-08-31T07:26:00.000-07:00

Just got my blog ranked for free at http://www.websitegrader.com. This is the latest way to generate bogus statistics to evaluate your blog. This blog ranks an astounding 83! What does that mean?

"A website grade of 83 for evanrapp.blogspot.com means that of the thousands of websites that have previously been submitted to the tool, our algorithm has calculated that this site scores higher than 83% of them in terms of its marketing effectiveness. The algorithm uses a proprietary blend of over a dozen different variables, including search engine data, website structure, approximate traffic, site performance, and others."

Time to start selling ads!

Also some other facts ....

"The website http://evanrapp.blogspot.com/ has a ranking of 14. This means that it is the 14th most trafficed site on the web -- as measured by Alexa."

Alexa doesn't get out much. I'm sure this means that blogger.com is the 14th most trafficed website.

"Readability Level : Advanced Degree (PhD)
This score measures the approximate level of education necessary to read and understand the web page content. In most cases, the content should be made to be simple so that a majority of the target audience can understand it."

Apparently it takes a PHD to understand tiger shaped pancakes and pictures of people's butts.

Continuing the Guitar Theme

2007-08-30T12:40:00.001-07:00

I love flickr because I'm always stumbling across some really specific and odd flickr pool. This is from a pool called Guitar Nudes, a flickr group for people to post naked pictures of themselves and their guitars. Ah the internets, is there no weird hobby that you can't satisfy?

Dumpster Guitar

2007-08-30T11:48:00.001-07:00

Found this (1976?) Gibson J-50 Deluxe guitar in the garbage. The bridge needed to be re-glued in place. It sounds great, though the intonation needs a little work. Technically if I wanted this restored, the guitar repair guy said it would cost about $800. Which probably really means $1000+. Um.. I'm not going to pump $1000 into a guitar I found in the dumpster just to get a guitar that I can buy in "excellent condition" on e-bay for about $1100. Sorry, mister repair man, this isn't my child.

The Top 10 Ugliest Cars in the World

2007-08-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

Business Week releases their list of top 10 ugliest cars in the world.

My parents owned two of them.

At the same time.

The AMC Pacer.

The Ford Pinto.

Just Like the Good New Days

2007-08-29T17:57:00.000-07:00

I just read the Wall Street Journal article about "relic guitars". If you don't know, what a "relic" guitar is, it's basically a brand new guitar that was beaten up to look like it is an old model worn out guitar. These have been around for years but apparently they're getting very popular as real "vintage" guitar prices start to rise. I didn't know that both Sting and Andy Summers of the Police both use relic guitars (based on their own originals) on stage. Actually during their concert I saw a few months ago, I remarked to someone that it was strange to see them using the exact same instruments that they used in the 80's. Now I know why. I (like most people) have always thought that relic guitars are a pretty stupid concept. I guess when you buy a guitar that is already crapped up, you don't feel so bad when you drop it on the floor. That theory falls down when you find out that you pay a premium for someone to beat up your new guitar. The Jeff Beck relic guitar (pictured) is supposedly an exact replica (all the way down to the scratches and worn out spots) of one of his real guitars. Price tag about $10,000. Um yeah, that's 4 zeros. I guess the point of these guitars is the same as buying worn out jeans. Instead of having something around forever and actually wearing it out yourself with tales of high adventure, you can buy the fake history and get the look of being a seasoned professional right away. I think they should extend this concept to other products.

You should be able to buy a brand new old model car that is is already dinged and dented up. I think the US car makers should capitalize on this. Maybe they should loan them out to driving schools and rental car companies for a couple of months before delivery. Thrown in some corroded spark plugs maybe an oil leak or two and they'll be flying off the show room floor. Have you driven a Ford Lately? How about a 2007, beaten up Pinto?

Mmmm.. Fish Sticks and Sprinkles

2007-08-28T16:59:00.001-07:00

This is what she wanted for dinner