Knowing is Half the Prattle.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Random IMs

I used to get random IMs from people I didn't know all the time. This is the first in a while.

Start of ltjrob buffer: Fri Jun 23 11:25:36 2006

[11:16] ltjrob: what do you think?
[11:16] eyoevan: about what?
[11:17] ltjrob: the thing from yesterday
[11:18] eyoevan: Oh, that thing? With that stuff that was done? Just great.
[11:18] ltjrob: excellent!
[11:19] eyoevan: I'm glad your happy with it. Lets do it again sometime.
[11:19] ltjrob: hehe sounds bueno

End of ltjrob buffer: Fri Jun 23 11:25:36 2006

Saturday, June 17, 2006

You're Never to Young for Censorship.

So, we have this little toy called the "Alphabet Pal". This is the new and improved version of the toy. The original is green and this one is purple. It has an extra button on the top in the shape of a bug reclining on a flower and all it does when pressed is say "Hi I'm Edison, let's sing along with Alphabet Pal". Dumb button in an even dumber location, because a little kid is going to hit that button a million times and little Edison is going to annoy the living crap out of you. Both of these new "features" are not the big improvement. The toy now has an undocumented feature that censors your child's play for his/her own good. Part of the point of the toy is that it has little buttons, one for each letter in the alphabet and when you set it to one of its modes, the toy says the "sound" when you press the letter. For example, when you child hits a letter "A" it says the "aah" sound. Pretty fun. You should be able to pronounce out words by hitting letters in succession, but now it doesn't necessasarily let you. The new feature of this toy keeps track of which letters you have previously pushed and when you put together two or more letter sounds that the toy maker finds to be a "naughty" combination, it doesn't allow you to play the sounds together. For example here's an audio clip of what happens when you try to pronounce a popular word begining with "F". Audio Clip. It always puts in that "he he he that tickles" when you hit a naughty combination so it can stretch out the time between the naughty letters.

In fact the toy won't even allow you to put together u and k (or u and c) at all. Through some experimenting on my own here are some combinations of sounds that it doesn't allow together.

  1. U-K
  2. P-I-S
  3. C-N-T
  4. D-I-K
Your two year old is going to have to learn how to spell duck somewhere else.

Why don't we do this with all kids toys? What's going to stop someone from doing this with the refrigerator magnets?

Now we're going to have to put repeller magnets into the refrigerator magnets so that kids can't put certain letter combinations together.

When you try to put the letters together they will just split apart. Saving your child from sin.

In honor of the new and improved Alphabet Pal. I've made a little bit of a porn soundtrack using the toy. Enjoy.

Oh yeah Alphabet Pal ... Give it to me.

Thanks to Issac Hayes for the music, the king of music that sounds like porn.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Drawing of the Week (#65: Ghostly Nose Silvie)

The second of a two-for-one post of weekly drawings. This is another hobo for the 700 hoboes project. This one #65 Ghostly Nose Silvie. Acually in my interpretation it should be, Ghostly nose, beard and moustache Sylvie. This is the 4th hobo that I've posted. It's a good thing that they don't grade on quality because I'm obviously a rank amatuer compared to a couple of the regular posters. They must be professional artists. This is only a hobby for me. Anyway, you can see the other hobo pictures of mine at It looks much more impressive when you see them in the context of a real web site, but don't be fooled. The photos go up there automatically, no one approves them, so any crap gets up there. If you want to go to my hoboes directly, you can use the following links.

#65: Ghostly Nose Silvie
#144: Robert Eats-for-free
#118: Doc Aquatic
#175: Commodore 64

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Drawing of the Week (#144: Robert Eats-for-free)

I haven't posted a drawing of the week for a while, but I have created two other hoboes for the 700 hobes project since the last drawing of the week. I'll post both of them now. This is #144 "Robert Eats For Free".

Gasoline is cheap.

So, I've been sick and haven't posted anything in a while. I have "adenoiditis". I think I also just had the flu a day earlier so I've been out of it for about 5 or 6 days. The photo is of one of the perscription drugs that I've been perscribed. Brand name Prednisone. It's basically a steroid or in their language a "corticosteroid hormone (glucocorticoid)". It surpresses your immune system and reduces alergic type reactions like swelling in your throat (what I need). Anyway I just bought three of these pills. The regular price for all three pills is $9.99. Let me put the regular price into some perspective by putting it together with some other prices taken from today's commodities market. I converted all prices to be by the pound.

Pork Bellies$.87
Gasoline ($3 gal)$.38

That's alot of pork bellies, and gasoline looks like a steal at $3 a gallon. Actually through my perscription drug plan I only paid $1.99 so really, I'm only paying $15,104.88 a pound for Prednisone. A little better than today's price for platinum.

Monday, June 05, 2006

How to get a missionary off your back.

Question: How do you get a proselytizer to stop bothering you?
Answer: Kick him in the nuts and yell "Deuteronomy 23:1".

Deuteronomy 23:1 - "He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD."

Friday, June 02, 2006

Now that's a Tatoo

It's some grafitti. I couldn't figure out what it said and I didn't ask. Something like "perfecta".

Don't you just love flash floods in the middle of Manhattan?

So Elana and I are at the Central Park Childrens Zoo when the sky opens up and causes a flash flood. In about 10 minutes or so the water level rises to my waist, all the garbage cans get washed away and things like this utility truck all get knocked out.

Water still rising!

Quick... Zookeeper grab a ladder and get everyone to higher ground!

Everyone soaking wet but fine. Soggy crackers for everyone!

If you're worried about the animals it looked like they were loving it.

Apparently no one is immune to the thought of making a quick buck on ebay.

Sign found at the Central Park Zoo on the polar bear habitat. They are auctioning off "Polar Bear Toys". Not toys in the shape of polar bears but old plastic buckets and other hunks of garbage that have been mangled by real polar bears. I couldn't find one of the auctions on ebay. Maybe they're still in the process of making new garbage.