Knowing is Half the Prattle.

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Quality of Business News Reporting

This is what happens when you have to rush to publish news stories and you have absolutely no idea what is going on. Um... maybe get your story straight first.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Life Imitates Spinal Tap

Apparently the BBC media player goes to 11.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Chocolate for Girls

A few years ago, I suggested that chocolate makers hate women ( Maybe now they're starting to realize that women may like chocolate too. Introducing "Fling"! It's like chocolate but for women.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

The New 96th st Subway Station

The gentle slope of the new 96th st subway station. Who will be the first person to climb to the top? How long will it take for the MTA to put a fence around it?

Haven't architects learned anything about NYC?

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Playing with Processing

Been playing with processing. I really need to play with this more. The hardest part is trying to post it on a blog. Let's see if this works.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

The Holy Grail of Cheap After Shave

Forget the Axxe Effect. This is the real deal. I knew my parents had this somewhere. I finally found this over the weekend. A 1968 vintage bottle of Hai Karate. You can't buy this for money. Well actually you can buy this on e-bay. I'm not sure if I can wear this though. I don't have the original box with the self defense strategies. I might get mobbed.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

OK Where's My $99

I got this coupon.

Here is the inside.

So what do you mean that this coupon is only for $1. Read it yourself.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

It's a Meal Because We Said So

They were giving these out on the street in Times Square a while ago. They are GNC "One Square Meal" bars. It's yet another attempt to disguise a candy bar as something else. This time it's supposed to be an entire meal. A square meal. Get it? Square .... Meal? Because it's square and it replaces a meal. You know, like a meal that you eat, but it's square. Did they bash that point into your head hard enough? Oh those clever marketers. Does this look like a meal to you? Oh sure if you eat this instead of a meal you'll surely lose weight, but then again if you drink a glass of water instead of eating a meal won't you lose even more weight? OK, I'll stop there your secret to weight loss is safe with me.

Square meal.... oh, you slay me.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Monday, March 16, 2009

You Think this is a Game?

Maybe it's me. Maybe I just don't get it. I think that a game is something that you play and have fun with etc. What is the story with all of these online "games" where they throw up a few nice pictures make you do some paperwork, and then force you to stop playing (sometimes for hours or a day) and expect you to come back and fill out some more paperwork? Where is the fun?

I honestly don't get it. Are there people who actually play these games? The mode for most of them is some sort of scenario. You're a samurai; you're a gangster; you're a knight, whatever. You have to go through some sort of training or some such annoyance. Click this or that. Make some move and then a few clicks into it you're knocked out of the game. "Sorry it will take 5 hours to complete your training". 5 hours? 5 real, earth spinning on its axis hours? Are you out of your mind? This is a game right? I don't get it.

Oh No! They Killed Katz's .... You Bastards!

OK so "they" haven't actually closed down Katz's and turned it into condos yet, but since most other places have shut down that's kind of the problem. Apparently (unknown to me at least) Katz's Deli is now on every tour bus's lunch list. Tourists all trying to get to eat a piece of the "real new york" which in reality, hasn't existed for over 50 years. I was there on Sunday and literally bus load after bus load of people poured into the place in an endless stream. Katz's never was the most organized place to begin with. Little tickets that are unfamiliar to people; get pastrami here, get knish there, get soda some place completely different. To the newbie, the place can be a little confusing. Now with the 800 or so people in there trying to figure out what is a line and which is a group of tourists taking a picture of the table where they shot "When Harry Met Sally" the place is intolerable. The pastrami is still good but I think I'm going to go there when I usually go... at 10:00 at night.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A Present Only a Geek Would Love

Hey kids we didn't get you that Nintendo System. We got you something better; a calculator! Imagine the faces of kids when they got this book. I found this book in the garbage and can't decide whether this book is completely boring or fascinating. I will cut the author some slack since the book was published in 1977, so video games really weren't common yet.

Some games from the book.

"Down For Twenty" - "...force your opponent to make the final subtraction which results in 0"

"Calculator Baseball" - "... each player picks a 3 random 3 digit number and passes the calculator to their opponent. Based on the last 5 digits of the product the at-bat is determined" e.g. "all odd or all even and no repeats - home run"

"Space Race" - "Object: To be the first player whose calculator exceeds the display"

I can't decide whether to keep this book or throw it out.

Monday, February 09, 2009

New Word of the Week. (Mount Slushmore)

Mount Slushmore:(noun) - The mountain range of snow on the side of the road created by snow plows.

Usage: Hold my hand. We have the light and we have summit Mount Slushmore.

Have a proposal for word of the week? Put it in the comments or send me an e-mail.

Swedish Army Here I Come

Apparently I might make a good candidate for a Swedish Army officer. Bork Bork Bork!

Take the test yourself.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

The Axis of Awesome 4 Chords

I always like these videos that point out that a million songs have the same chords. I guess it makes me feel better if I write a song and it turns out that it uses the exact same chords as something else. Or maybe I just think they're fun.

bonus video

New Word of the Week. (Crustation)

Crustation: (noun) - The table with bread and rolls at an you can eat seafood place.

Usage: You need any more butter? I'm going to hit the crustation.

Have a proposal for word of the week? Put it in the comments or send me an e-mail.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

New Word of the Week. Wii-hab

Wii-hab: (noun) - The place where you send your Nintendo Wii to get it fixed.

Usage: Some Wii-tard knocked my Wii off the shelf. I have to send it to Wii-hab.

-Thanks Karianne

Have a proposal for word of the week? Put it in the comments or send me an e-mail.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

New Word of the Week (Chancefer)

Starting another "of the week" that I know I can't possibly keep up; "New Word of the Week". Everyone makes up words and this is a new weekly word that I'd like to introduce into the English language. This week ...

Chancefer:(noun) That few seconds that you may or may not get between when your train pulls into the station and when the train across the platform pulls out of the station.

Usage: "Quick, get up, we have a chancefer!"

Have a proposal for word of the week? Put it in the comments or send me an e-mail.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Camo Frog

I haven't been drawing anything for a while. I need to do it more often. Just drew this.

To Wii or Not to Wii

I have mixed feelings about the Nintendo Wii. On the one hand it's pretty fun and gets me off the couch but the Wii is really unlike any game that I've played. In most games, you have a high score board. Nothing more satisfying then playing a game for a while just to get the chance to put your name up on the high score board. I've been on the Zwok leader board for years. Any time you fail to hit the high score, there's no foul. Just go and try it again. But not with the Wii. With the Wii games it keeps your score. It keeps all your scores. When you do well, you rise up the ranks against yourself. But when you don't do well, it is all over you for that too. Those bad games of baseball where you were having an off day and you got your clock cleaned are all there. It even sends you little messages of how you did that day. This brings up the Wii dilemma. When you are doing really well, there's that temptation to just stop playing. Should I quit now while I'm ahead and sit on the couch basking in my high scores. Should I regale friends with stories of that silver medal I won in tennis just two days ago or should I risk losing my Wii bowling pro status. It's all there, recorded. You can wade through your Mii messages about how you were once a superstar but now you're a failure. Do you keep playing till you crest that bell curve of achievement? Do you go out on top or keep playing till you're relegated to Wii obscurity? It's a dilemma that gives me pause every time I pick up the Wii. Then there's the insult of it telling you that you suck. How do you feel when you do the fitness test and it rates you a 46 year old? You do what I did, train and do it again till you rate a 31 year old. I guess maybe just for me this is all a big deal. Really now, life is like the Wii. You can't get rid of anything in your life. Facebook friends show up who know your past. That picture of you drunk at a college party gets posted to the internet. Everything your write gets recorded somewhere. Now even the president has to admit that he did drugs in college rather than get away with claiming to not inhale. I don't think the current president can get away with mincing words about the definition of "sexual relations". Now it seems that whatever you do, you just have to own it. So I am going to own my Wii failures instead of brushing them under the rug and blotting them out of history. The photo is of my best Wii bowling game, but since, I bowled a bunch of really lousy games and lost my "pro" status. Want to make something out of it?

Wednesday, January 07, 2009