Knowing is Half the Prattle.

Friday, August 31, 2007

The Latest BS Way of Evaluating Your Blog

Just got my blog ranked for free at This is the latest way to generate bogus statistics to evaluate your blog. This blog ranks an astounding 83! What does that mean?

"A website grade of 83 for means that of the thousands of websites that have previously been submitted to the tool, our algorithm has calculated that this site scores higher than 83% of them in terms of its marketing effectiveness. The algorithm uses a proprietary blend of over a dozen different variables, including search engine data, website structure, approximate traffic, site performance, and others."

Time to start selling ads!

Also some other facts ....

"The website has a ranking of 14. This means that it is the 14th most trafficed site on the web -- as measured by Alexa."

Alexa doesn't get out much. I'm sure this means that is the 14th most trafficed website.

"Readability Level : Advanced Degree (PhD)
This score measures the approximate level of education necessary to read and understand the web page content. In most cases, the content should be made to be simple so that a majority of the target audience can understand it."

Apparently it takes a PHD to understand tiger shaped pancakes and pictures of people's butts.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Continuing the Guitar Theme

I love flickr because I'm always stumbling across some really specific and odd flickr pool. This is from a pool called Guitar Nudes, a flickr group for people to post naked pictures of themselves and their guitars. Ah the internets, is there no weird hobby that you can't satisfy?

Dumpster Guitar

Found this (1976?) Gibson J-50 Deluxe guitar in the garbage. The bridge needed to be re-glued in place. It sounds great, though the intonation needs a little work. Technically if I wanted this restored, the guitar repair guy said it would cost about $800. Which probably really means $1000+. Um.. I'm not going to pump $1000 into a guitar I found in the dumpster just to get a guitar that I can buy in "excellent condition" on e-bay for about $1100. Sorry, mister repair man, this isn't my child.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Top 10 Ugliest Cars in the World

Business Week releases their list of top 10 ugliest cars in the world.

My parents owned two of them.

At the same time.

The AMC Pacer.

The Ford Pinto.

Just Like the Good New Days

I just read the Wall Street Journal article about "relic guitars". If you don't know, what a "relic" guitar is, it's basically a brand new guitar that was beaten up to look like it is an old model worn out guitar. These have been around for years but apparently they're getting very popular as real "vintage" guitar prices start to rise. I didn't know that both Sting and Andy Summers of the Police both use relic guitars (based on their own originals) on stage. Actually during their concert I saw a few months ago, I remarked to someone that it was strange to see them using the exact same instruments that they used in the 80's. Now I know why. I (like most people) have always thought that relic guitars are a pretty stupid concept. I guess when you buy a guitar that is already crapped up, you don't feel so bad when you drop it on the floor. That theory falls down when you find out that you pay a premium for someone to beat up your new guitar. The Jeff Beck relic guitar (pictured) is supposedly an exact replica (all the way down to the scratches and worn out spots) of one of his real guitars. Price tag about $10,000. Um yeah, that's 4 zeros. I guess the point of these guitars is the same as buying worn out jeans. Instead of having something around forever and actually wearing it out yourself with tales of high adventure, you can buy the fake history and get the look of being a seasoned professional right away. I think they should extend this concept to other products.

You should be able to buy a brand new old model car that is is already dinged and dented up. I think the US car makers should capitalize on this. Maybe they should loan them out to driving schools and rental car companies for a couple of months before delivery. Thrown in some corroded spark plugs maybe an oil leak or two and they'll be flying off the show room floor. Have you driven a Ford Lately? How about a 2007, beaten up Pinto?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Mmmm.. Fish Sticks and Sprinkles

This is what she wanted for dinner

Monday, August 27, 2007

Disco at the Guggenheim

OK, here's my kid activity review of "The Shapes of Space" exhibit at the Guggenheim. I saw this online and saw it in Time Out Kids and decided to take Elana. In short, it's worth every penny I spent. I had free tickets. If you have to spend the $18 or $20 a head that people normally spend to get in... go elsewhere.

If you've never been to the Guggenheim Museum in NYC, I'll tell you the description that I tell everyone. The building is almost always more interesting than the actual exhibits. This new exhibit doesn't disappoint... the building is still more interesting than the actual exhibits. If you want crazy modern art wierdness, spend the extra $2 and go to the MOMA. If you're looking for a kid activity, spend the money on "Baby Loves Disco" instead.

The show is mostly the usual Guggenheim fare of giant solid black canvases and lots of empty space. I guess this show is targeted at the NYC dweller, who really appreciates the value of large, wasted, empty space. The one installation of any interest is the one pictured above. No surprise, every article about this exhibit shows a picture of this room because the rest isn't much to speak of. As we all know, with modern art the quality of the work is inversely proportional to the length of the bullshit explanation that comes with it. The above piece had a lengthy explanation. Summarized, the artist is making some weak association between moden artists like Piet Mondrian... e.g.

...and a disco. Oh see! He took a lighted floor that you could find in numerous dance clubs across the world and he put it into a museum? Isn't that clever? Um... no. The fine line here between clever and stupid would be that if it floor was a lot more like a Mondrian painting, (i.e. different sized boxes, black border lines, Mondrian's pallet etc) then it might be cute. At least Elana had a lot of fun running around in this room and screaming.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Geek Farm On Stage at CBGB's

I haven't seen this photo in a while but the bass player (Kenny) just posted it. This is a Geek Farm show at CBGB's just before it closed down. Supposedly we still have an album in the works. It's all recorded but it hasn't been mixed.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

That Jaeques is One Pain in the Ass

Stumbled across this photo on flickr of this guy who has his ass branded. I guess he wants everyone to know who is mooning them.

This picture reminds me of this guy.

I used to rent a music studio near times square and this guy had the studio across the hall. His branding is the word "REVENGE" across his collar bone. Lots of interesting stories from that building that I won't go into now. Let's just say that every fellony that could be committed was being comitted in that building on a regular basis. I was just there for the music.

Dr. Sketchy's

Went to Dr. Sketchy's on Saturday for the first time. I'm not used to trying to draw 10 model poses in 10 minutes and I assume that you're not supposed to get very far in that time but still it's a nerve racking experience. This picture is actually from a much longer pose session. Yeah, I never took art beyond Junior High School, cut me some slack. It was a fun experience anyway, though I could have done with less of the ultra-hamming by the two substitute MC's.

Friday, August 17, 2007

The Treo is Down

Did I ever tell you that the Treo sucks? Right now it's crashed again and I'm going to have to pull out the batteries to get it going again. I never had this problem with the blackberry and I didn't even install anything unusual on it. The blackberry had all kinds of crap on it.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Making Love in the Kitchen

Oh yeah. Sweet sweet love.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Today's Pancake (tiger)


Looking for a Chartered Bus?

I'd like to recommend these Fuckers

700 Knights in Splendiferous Armor

Short list of knight names that I added to the 700 Knights in Splendiferous Armor sub project of the 700 Things Project. I actually added these a while ago but just blogged about it now.

647. Squire Strat(ford) O'Caster
648. The Earl of Ole'
649. Baron Dessert (the Icing Free).
650. Sterling Silver, The Stainless
651. Opus Dei and the Knights (templar)
652. Mutton Bob Iron Pants
653. Sponge Quixote Sancho Pantza
654. Salisbury of Steak
655. The Jack of England
656. Stalin the Red
657. The Lord
658. The Knight of Color (formerly the Black Knight)
659. The Man of La Manga
660. Le Duc De LaCroix (The Duke of Lacrosse)
661. Sir T (who takes pitty on the court fool)

My favorite being ... "Sponge Quixote Sancho Pantza".