Knowing is Half the Prattle.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Binary Clock

Today I made my first "useful" object with an Arduino board. It's a binary clock. OK, you can't read binary clocks and it only can count up to 4 minutes and 15 seconds. You can't even time John Cage's song 4'33" with it but it's one small step towards understanding electronics. The real point of all of this was to figure out how to use an 8 bit shift register. Mission completion.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Lameness of Free Treo Software

I've been trying to download some free software for the Treo to see if the thing can be used for anything other than e-mail and a phone. All the free software out there is crap. At least I got Dope Wars and Space Trader but I really haven't even found anything that is even close to interesting. I downloaded some drawing program and crashed the Treo (of course). I downloaded this one program called "M Drink's". This is supposed to be like a Mr. Boston type guide to making drinks. The interface stinks at best and really doesn't actually work. The drinks are even bad.

Some examples...

A Baby Eskimo.... Kahlua and ice cream. Big Deal.

Atlantic Dolphin Shit : "Dump the shit in a glass with ice cubes and swill it down!" Elegant.

Such crap. It even comes with a lame warning page about drinking and driving.

I don't think you can add your own entries so you're stuck with their crap. Here are two entries that I would add..

The Absolut Zero
1 Part Absolut Vodka
3 Parts Coke Zero

The Friggid Virgin
1 Part Absolut Vodka
3 Parts Coke Zero Cherry
1 Cherry garnish.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

ill fitting hat bear pancake

Combining the "pancake art" and "bears in ill fitting hats" groups.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

God, that Tastes Good.

While sitting and having a Dosa at the Hampton Chutney Company on the upper west side, I see a prominently displayed sign on a shelf.

"The cooks prepare and cook the food with a pure heart, remaining silent and chanting the name of God. While the food is served, everyone chants God's name."

When I got my Dosa, I didn't hear any chanting of God's name. I think I got short changed some essential karmic ingredients. In my next life, I'll come back as a roach and get even.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Theodore Will See You in the Drawing Room

I haven't done any drawings for a while but got inspired by the "bears in ill-fitting hats group" on

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

The Now Sound

Normally I really don't post links to other sites, but this was pretty interesting and I wanted to remember it for myself. Do you know that sound of the 60's that was everywhere except in popular music? That was apparently called the "Now" sound. This is a link to some of it from an interesting site that does a weekly post of music they find on old 45's.

This is reason for the internet. No one would have ever heard of this music if those who control copyrights had total control. Don't believe me? Try to find this music on CD.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Overheard in NY

I had my own decent Overheard in NY moment in the subway today.

late 20's girl: So New York is an island?
late 20's guy : Yeah.
late 20's girl: So it has like a water thing around it?

-- on the 1 train

Thursday, November 15, 2007

On the Air

I am on the air! OK, so I'm not starting a podcast, I just finished making the light. I had the "on air" plastic shell for a long time and I finally got around to wiring it up and putting a back on it. Maybe I'll put it over the bathroom and start saying "I'm going to broadcast the news" every time I go to the toilet.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Crap 24/7

Just got this job listing e-mailled to me.... At least they are honest that the shit on this job happens 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Fascinating Fact

The word for "trip to the moon" in German is Mondfahrt, which sounds alot like "mind fart".

Pictures From the Archive

Just found this picture of me when I was about 6 years old. You never know what photos of you are floating around the internet. This is a summer camp up in Bear Mountain State Park. Not a camper there, I was just visiting for the day. I really can't tell you what we were doing but this is the dining room, so we're probably there for the free eats.

Update: Some IM commentary from a friend and his friend.

Cxxxxxx: it really looks like a 70's cop tv show
Cxxxxxx: badass black dude (in the back of course)
Soooooo: I thought a 70s rock band album pic
Cxxxxxx: hippy guy just in front
Cxxxxxx: then the striaght-laced cop
Soooooo: heh
Soooooo: That's funny too
Cxxxxxx: then the main character who is a loose cannon with his headband and dark sunglasses
Cxxxxxx: all protecting "The Kid"
Cxxxxxx: "The Kid" obviously has Attitude.
Soooooo: But meanwhile The Kids kicks all the bad guys' asses himself
Soooooo: Kid rather
Cxxxxxx: definitely and when he finishes the other guys will say their signature lines
Cxxxxxx: the hippy of course says "Far Out Kid"
Cxxxxxx: the Token says "Groovy"
Soooooo: Or "You deserve some sweeeeeeeeet black sugah, kid"
Cxxxxxx: oh perfect
Cxxxxxx: "We gotta get you a Fly Woman after that!"
Cxxxxxx: the Loose Cannon says "That's just what I would have done"
Cxxxxxx: and the Straight-Laced Square says "Good Job Kid"
Soooooo: This is so excellent
Soooooo: We need lookalikes for a real show now
Soooooo: That '70s Cop Show

Thursday, September 27, 2007

On the Couch

Does life get any better than this?

Go Bisc Yourself!

Passenger: What kind of cookies do you have on this flight?
Stewardess: Biscoff!
Passenger: Hey why don't you piss off!
Stewardess: Um... Sir.
Passenger: Yeah I'm talking to you!

Time for Slide Jousting!

This is a great airline. If the plane is delayed for a long time, they open up the slide, give you a jousting lance and let you slide down as you try to get people while they run away from you. We weren't delayed that long so I didn't get a chance to joust.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Creepy Clown

Is it any wonder why kids are afraid of clowns? Can't they make them a little less creepy? Maybe some teeth would help

Friday, September 14, 2007

This Fan Sucks.

There was something wrong with this fan so I opened it up to check the wiring. I think I found what was wrong. That explains it.

Balcony Fishing

So in case you are ever cleaning a table cloth in the middle of the night and it slips off your balcony and lands on a terrace 30 feet below to which you have no access, here's a tip. Get a lot of string, a coat hanger, a thumb tack and some tape. Make the above contraption with the thumb tack taped to the hook of the coat hanger. Hang your contraption from another long piece of string and fish your table cloth from the terrace below. Tested and effective, but your results may vary. Make sure no one sees you so they don't call the Department of Homeland Security.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Diet Menthol Drips

OK, I know that the dictionary definition of drip and drop is basically the same thing but eating something called Drips is a whole lot more disgusting than eating something called Drops. I also kind of question the sanity of making something pineapple, peach, cherry, lime and menthol flavor all at the same time. At least it's diet and sugar free.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Do the Times Square Shuffle!

Sometimes when you get mad it helps to do a little dance to vent your anger. When the 7th avenue crossover is closed, the NYC Department of Transportation recommends doing the Times Square Shuffle.

Da Da .... Da Da ... Doin' the Time Square Shuffle.....

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Phallic Fountains

I call this one "Old Stubby".

I call these "The Rear Guard". Guess who's the Captain.

Who says that the kids are the only ones allowed to have fun in the water park?

23st and West End Ave (Chelsea of course)

Friday, August 31, 2007

The Latest BS Way of Evaluating Your Blog

Just got my blog ranked for free at This is the latest way to generate bogus statistics to evaluate your blog. This blog ranks an astounding 83! What does that mean?

"A website grade of 83 for means that of the thousands of websites that have previously been submitted to the tool, our algorithm has calculated that this site scores higher than 83% of them in terms of its marketing effectiveness. The algorithm uses a proprietary blend of over a dozen different variables, including search engine data, website structure, approximate traffic, site performance, and others."

Time to start selling ads!

Also some other facts ....

"The website has a ranking of 14. This means that it is the 14th most trafficed site on the web -- as measured by Alexa."

Alexa doesn't get out much. I'm sure this means that is the 14th most trafficed website.

"Readability Level : Advanced Degree (PhD)
This score measures the approximate level of education necessary to read and understand the web page content. In most cases, the content should be made to be simple so that a majority of the target audience can understand it."

Apparently it takes a PHD to understand tiger shaped pancakes and pictures of people's butts.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Continuing the Guitar Theme

I love flickr because I'm always stumbling across some really specific and odd flickr pool. This is from a pool called Guitar Nudes, a flickr group for people to post naked pictures of themselves and their guitars. Ah the internets, is there no weird hobby that you can't satisfy?

Dumpster Guitar

Found this (1976?) Gibson J-50 Deluxe guitar in the garbage. The bridge needed to be re-glued in place. It sounds great, though the intonation needs a little work. Technically if I wanted this restored, the guitar repair guy said it would cost about $800. Which probably really means $1000+. Um.. I'm not going to pump $1000 into a guitar I found in the dumpster just to get a guitar that I can buy in "excellent condition" on e-bay for about $1100. Sorry, mister repair man, this isn't my child.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Top 10 Ugliest Cars in the World

Business Week releases their list of top 10 ugliest cars in the world.

My parents owned two of them.

At the same time.

The AMC Pacer.

The Ford Pinto.

Just Like the Good New Days

I just read the Wall Street Journal article about "relic guitars". If you don't know, what a "relic" guitar is, it's basically a brand new guitar that was beaten up to look like it is an old model worn out guitar. These have been around for years but apparently they're getting very popular as real "vintage" guitar prices start to rise. I didn't know that both Sting and Andy Summers of the Police both use relic guitars (based on their own originals) on stage. Actually during their concert I saw a few months ago, I remarked to someone that it was strange to see them using the exact same instruments that they used in the 80's. Now I know why. I (like most people) have always thought that relic guitars are a pretty stupid concept. I guess when you buy a guitar that is already crapped up, you don't feel so bad when you drop it on the floor. That theory falls down when you find out that you pay a premium for someone to beat up your new guitar. The Jeff Beck relic guitar (pictured) is supposedly an exact replica (all the way down to the scratches and worn out spots) of one of his real guitars. Price tag about $10,000. Um yeah, that's 4 zeros. I guess the point of these guitars is the same as buying worn out jeans. Instead of having something around forever and actually wearing it out yourself with tales of high adventure, you can buy the fake history and get the look of being a seasoned professional right away. I think they should extend this concept to other products.

You should be able to buy a brand new old model car that is is already dinged and dented up. I think the US car makers should capitalize on this. Maybe they should loan them out to driving schools and rental car companies for a couple of months before delivery. Thrown in some corroded spark plugs maybe an oil leak or two and they'll be flying off the show room floor. Have you driven a Ford Lately? How about a 2007, beaten up Pinto?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Mmmm.. Fish Sticks and Sprinkles

This is what she wanted for dinner

Monday, August 27, 2007

Disco at the Guggenheim

OK, here's my kid activity review of "The Shapes of Space" exhibit at the Guggenheim. I saw this online and saw it in Time Out Kids and decided to take Elana. In short, it's worth every penny I spent. I had free tickets. If you have to spend the $18 or $20 a head that people normally spend to get in... go elsewhere.

If you've never been to the Guggenheim Museum in NYC, I'll tell you the description that I tell everyone. The building is almost always more interesting than the actual exhibits. This new exhibit doesn't disappoint... the building is still more interesting than the actual exhibits. If you want crazy modern art wierdness, spend the extra $2 and go to the MOMA. If you're looking for a kid activity, spend the money on "Baby Loves Disco" instead.

The show is mostly the usual Guggenheim fare of giant solid black canvases and lots of empty space. I guess this show is targeted at the NYC dweller, who really appreciates the value of large, wasted, empty space. The one installation of any interest is the one pictured above. No surprise, every article about this exhibit shows a picture of this room because the rest isn't much to speak of. As we all know, with modern art the quality of the work is inversely proportional to the length of the bullshit explanation that comes with it. The above piece had a lengthy explanation. Summarized, the artist is making some weak association between moden artists like Piet Mondrian... e.g.

...and a disco. Oh see! He took a lighted floor that you could find in numerous dance clubs across the world and he put it into a museum? Isn't that clever? Um... no. The fine line here between clever and stupid would be that if it floor was a lot more like a Mondrian painting, (i.e. different sized boxes, black border lines, Mondrian's pallet etc) then it might be cute. At least Elana had a lot of fun running around in this room and screaming.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Geek Farm On Stage at CBGB's

I haven't seen this photo in a while but the bass player (Kenny) just posted it. This is a Geek Farm show at CBGB's just before it closed down. Supposedly we still have an album in the works. It's all recorded but it hasn't been mixed.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

That Jaeques is One Pain in the Ass

Stumbled across this photo on flickr of this guy who has his ass branded. I guess he wants everyone to know who is mooning them.

This picture reminds me of this guy.

I used to rent a music studio near times square and this guy had the studio across the hall. His branding is the word "REVENGE" across his collar bone. Lots of interesting stories from that building that I won't go into now. Let's just say that every fellony that could be committed was being comitted in that building on a regular basis. I was just there for the music.

Dr. Sketchy's

Went to Dr. Sketchy's on Saturday for the first time. I'm not used to trying to draw 10 model poses in 10 minutes and I assume that you're not supposed to get very far in that time but still it's a nerve racking experience. This picture is actually from a much longer pose session. Yeah, I never took art beyond Junior High School, cut me some slack. It was a fun experience anyway, though I could have done with less of the ultra-hamming by the two substitute MC's.

Friday, August 17, 2007

The Treo is Down

Did I ever tell you that the Treo sucks? Right now it's crashed again and I'm going to have to pull out the batteries to get it going again. I never had this problem with the blackberry and I didn't even install anything unusual on it. The blackberry had all kinds of crap on it.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Making Love in the Kitchen

Oh yeah. Sweet sweet love.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Today's Pancake (tiger)


Looking for a Chartered Bus?

I'd like to recommend these Fuckers

700 Knights in Splendiferous Armor

Short list of knight names that I added to the 700 Knights in Splendiferous Armor sub project of the 700 Things Project. I actually added these a while ago but just blogged about it now.

647. Squire Strat(ford) O'Caster
648. The Earl of Ole'
649. Baron Dessert (the Icing Free).
650. Sterling Silver, The Stainless
651. Opus Dei and the Knights (templar)
652. Mutton Bob Iron Pants
653. Sponge Quixote Sancho Pantza
654. Salisbury of Steak
655. The Jack of England
656. Stalin the Red
657. The Lord
658. The Knight of Color (formerly the Black Knight)
659. The Man of La Manga
660. Le Duc De LaCroix (The Duke of Lacrosse)
661. Sir T (who takes pitty on the court fool)

My favorite being ... "Sponge Quixote Sancho Pantza".

Monday, July 30, 2007

Instant 80's Band Name and Cover Art

Can't think of a name for your early 80's retro band? Need cover art? Just go to the ticket master website search for tickets and grab the captcha. Instant band name. I think I saw an interview with Erasion on U68 in 1986.

Forget the Nissan Maxima, I Want the Ford Maxima.

In the 1960's everyone wanted to be in the space program. In 1963, Ford came out with their concept car, the Maxima. I guess it's for when you're really late to work. To bad these never went into production but then again the sonic booms on the highway might get a little annoying.

found at and various other sites on the web.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

More Fun With Scanners

My impression of a Warner Brothers cartoon character just after the realization that he just walked off the cliff.

Do you like Macs?

This guy really does.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Fun with Scanners

I was bored today and decided to have some fun with the scanner. There was no paint used in the creation of this picture. The paint is a time stretched image of the paintbrush head. Here's the formula.

1) hold a paintbrush to the glass of a scanner
2) start the scanner and let it roll over your hand.
3) When it gets to the tip of the brush, follow the scannining imager keeping the brush over the light.
4) move the brush from side to side a couple of times to make it look more painterly.

Remember that the image is scanned in reverse of what you'd expect a brush to do.

That's it.

Friday, July 27, 2007

More internet posts that won't die.

Another blast from the internet past. I was searching my old e-mail address and found this post that I posted to on April 2, 1995.

Drummer wanted for moody alternative band in NYC.
Must be able to play 3/4 and 6/8 as well as 4/4.
Must show up!
E-mail me directly at


The "Must show up" part of the ad is the hardest qualification to fill.

I don't remember if anyone responded to the internet post but we ended up going with some guy we already knew. I also remember an awful day of interviewing drummers from an ad we placed in the Village Voice. One drummer "Zebra" was so drugged up that he fell off his stool. Ah.... fun times. We saw Zebra again about a year later when he was playing drums in a band that went on before us at a place called Sun Mountain in the Village. To bad I threw out his business card.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Do Not Call ..... Again

Something I didn't know (or remember). When you register for the "Do Not Call List" (i.e. the list that stops telemarketers from calling you), the registration is not permanent. We've been getting some telemarketer calls recently and I went to double check. They sent me the following e-mail.

Your phone number with the last four digits xxxx was registered in the National Do Not Call Registry on 6/29/2003. Most telemarketers will be required to stop calling you 31 days from your registration date. Your registration will (or did) expire on 6/30/2008.

So my phone number doesn't expire till next year but a good thing to remember.

You can check when your registration is about to expire here.

Apparently the telemarketers calling me are on the exempt list, meaning they can just ignore the Do Not Call List.

Mmm.. plastic shavings.

Do you remember a time when your grandmother baked fresh whole wheat bread with the little bits of brown melted plastic baked right in? No? Pepperidge Farm remembers. Spoke to Pepperidge Farm on the phone, they want me to send them a frozen slice and they're sending me coupons. Right now I'm waiting for "materials" in the mail.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

NYC Wildlife.

Raccoon in Riverside Park.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

179. Hare Apparent

For the 700 Bunnies Project

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Video Glitch of the Day

In addition to the number of the day and the letter of the day, there is one other constant on sesame street.

26. Edward Hopper

Out for a late night carrot juice. Part of the 700 Bunnies Project which is a subset of the 700 Things Project which is an off shoot of the 700 Hoboes project. You get the idea.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Today's Pancake (monkey)

Today's theme..... Monkeys.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Today's Pancake

Today's pancake is a giraffe.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

In to the Abyss

I was in this building today. This is the inside of the building looking down at the lobby from the 27th floor.

Monday, June 11, 2007

We Have a New Winner!

If you know me, you know that I've had my share of disgusting drinks. Celery soda, give me more. Orbits with the little gel globules .... no problem. Jones soda, mashed potato flavor, why not? So when I say a drink is bad it's bad. We now have a new winner for the world's most disgusting drink, unseating former champion Moxie. Snow brand soda, specifically the Whiteout Peach flavor. Imagine the great taste of mint and peach together at last. Horrid.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Pancakes of the Serengeti

I've been making pancakes recently... alot of pancakes. I'm getting bored so here's a wildlife scene drawn with pancakes; a zebra out for a stroll in the Serengeti.

Friday, June 08, 2007

LOL Cats

Make your time.

Friday, June 01, 2007

LOL Feeds!

Found an excellent macro that automatically creates LOL cats from RSS feeds. Here is a link to this website as an LOL feed.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Um... is this the Grocery Store?

"This way" sign at Trader Joes. So you call yours the "Fearless Flyer"? (Found at Trader Joes in Paramus)

Friday, May 04, 2007

Pocky for Whitey

Just got back from the super market and saw that they are now selling Pocky in regular stores. Apparently for some unknown reason, Glico the Japanese manufacturer can't sell in regular American stores so it took a deal with European cookie maker LU to get it into the local super market. Look it's "New!" I guess it is new for middle America but honestly I've been buying this crap for over 20 years in chinatown. They are only selling the two most boring flavors of Pocky available, milk chocolate and milk chocolate crunch, but I guess it's a start. Call me when they have the Kobe wine, milk and pumpkin flavors. Actually blueberry is the best. Just to prove that Americans still don't understand Pocky when the cashier scanned it the register said it was "alcohol". Um..... yeah.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

When You Ask for Allies, You Don't Know Who's Going to Show Up.

I was watching a documentary on you tube called "The God Who Wasn't There". I actually haven't seen the entire thing because it wasn't all posted to youtube (damn copyrights). The film is an argument that Jesus most likely never really existed and the evidence for him is flaky at best. As part of the promotion of the film the producers ask people to post video of themselves on youtube committing the only unforgivable sin in Christianity... denying the existence of the holy spirit. Apparently doing this is a one way ticket to hell with no reprieve. Enter the people posting their videos in support of the movie and in support of Atheism. Here's Rael, the head of the Raelian Church. He and his followers believe that Rael himself met with extraterrestrials who told him that humans are one of the alien's genetic engineering experiments. I don't think the makers of the film anticipated these supporters.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Denial of Benches Attack

Whew, I really need to sit down. Oh, hey there are some benches... ummm.....