Knowing is Half the Prattle.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

My Foray Into Acting.


Suzi found this commercial audition for Arrid deodorant and prodded me to go and audition for the commercial. The commercial is for Arid deodorant and the ad agency wants you to apply for the Executive Director of the "Wetness Protection Program" something like that. I send them two pictures by e-mail and they ask for a resume. I send them my real resume which is totally devoid of any acting expierence whatsoever. This was Mon. On tues they send me an e-mail "You look like exactly what we're looking for". Can you come in tomorrow at 4:30? So now Wed morning, I'm scrambling to find a suit, a briefcase and all the other things that would make me look like someone applying for a real job. They say when you step off the elevator you should be in character. I have to be at work and can't really wear a suit to work and step out in the middle of the day. So I have suzi meet me at the marriot in Times Square and I can change in the lobby bathroom. Of course as soon as we get there the matinee of the broadway show in the building lets out so the place is flooded with people. I manage to squeeze into the bathroom and get changed. Now I'm running a little late and there are a million people all over the place. I want to take a cab because I'm wearing a full suit and it's about 100 degrees outside. No cabs, so I end up taking a bicycle cab to the place in the suit with my briefcase across my lap. Suzi is holding my old clothes and hanging out at the hotel with Elana till I get back. I get in the elevator and some woman who was a bycycle messenger tells me that my fly is undone. It's wide open. We exchange plesentries I adjust myself and I walk into the place. It turns out that instead of a mock job interview they changed the ad campaign to be an Election campaign. Someone slaps a "no wetness" button on my suit jacket, I fill out paperwork and we're off and running for office. They have a reporter with a camera crew who starts asking questions related to the campaign. "Where do you stand on the issue of underarm wetness?" "How did you first get interested in wetness protection?" No real preparation except for two sheets of paper with some phrases that the ad agency made up. I answer the questions as best I could and say stuff like. "Well I first got interested in wetness protection when my friend Johnny "Two Stains" a construction worker from south jersey was put into the wetness protection program at the behest of the fashion police." "Later I did some charity work with the suderiferous... handing out fresh t-shirts at sporting events and the like." About 6 or 7 questions from this "reporter" then on to campaign photos. Shots of me against a wall, making faces pointing in the air and trying to look political. After campaign photos a have to hold a "press conference" where I'm supposed to give my campaign speech. I'm in a room, behind a presidential like podium with the "Department of Wetness Protection" symbol on it in front of a small audience with cameras rolling the whole time. I had about 2 minutes to come up with my campaign speech. I start out with "This country has a problem and this problem stinks", then I said a bunch of stuff, I don't even remember it all now. I threw in "Ich bien ein schvitzer". (Yiddish for I'm a sweater). I threw in "If we roll on and stick to our principals we can perspire to greatness". Then some press conference questions. "Do you see any swing states forming?" I said something like "Well I see the south as being hotly contested where as Alaska can go either way". Another question... "How is your campaign platform being recieved in Washington DC?" My response. "Well considering the amount of hot air in Washington you would think that congressmen would be more concerned about this issue but instead they are involved with other less important matters like the military and economy". After the press conference, more questions from the roving reporter "Is there anyone that you particularly look up to?" I choke on this question. I mean I've been asked a barrage of questions where I've been making up silly answers for 1/2 hr already, my brain is getting fried. The reporter says "I can ask you some easier questions". I reply. "Well then it wouldn't be as fun". Eventually I say "George Bush because I never seem to see him break a sweat." It's not easy to adlib all that time with questions coming from everywhere and 1) not having any acting or comedy experience and 2) not really having any real preperation. As for comments ... I got a few "great jobs" from some of the people there and a "you're not an actor?" from someone. Supposedly there is going to be an online campaign and they will put a bunch of candidates on the website for people to vote on. The idea wasn't fully fleshed out so they couldn't really tell me how many candidates or all the real details. After this whole thing and my brain was swimming at this point. I walked back to hotel, met Suzi changed clothes in the bathroom again and went back to work. The whole thing was about 45 minutes of non stop ad libbing and my brain was getting fried but it was really fun. I'll post a link to the website if I ever get picked to be on it.



Follow Up. I am on the web site! Follow up blog entry here.

1 comment:

poor man said...

I was at the same audition. I actually got called back today. It was a debate.

You shouldn't worry about not having "acting experience." What was done that day was not acting. Nor was it very well organized. I think I had all of 13 seconds to prepare for the onslaught of questions and whatnot. And no one told me to wear a suit.

From reading your post I thought you had some funny answers. All I could come up with was "let's roll up our sleeves and look underarm odor in the face," blah blah blah.